Wholeness was revealed on October 1 when Laurence left this chapter of his life and went on to the next. I will be the first to admit that his passing does not fit my pictures of what I had prayed for and what I envisioned for our life together. But I know prayer is always answered and it was answered in a way that was as big as Laurence’s energy, as big as his capacity for life and for love, as big as his love for God.
Many times Laurence and I had talked about transitions. He had supported several family members and friends through their last days of life. We commented how the ideal way to leave this life is to let go while asleep, peacefully and without pain and suffering.
His doctors told us in June that he wasn’t strong enough to fight the fungal brain infection, weak heart and multiple strokes. We expected him to take this opportunity to leave peacefully but he didn’t. He woke up, regained strength and speech. The fungal brain infection mysteriously disappeared, his heart became stronger and even the cerebral hemorrhage began to heal. He was responding to therapy and relearning how to walk.
Dozens, no hundreds of people responded to my request and joined with prayers for wholeness. Friends appealed to other friends and prayers rippled out. People who didn’t normally pray were actively envisioning wholeness for Laurence.
Isn't that just like Laurence? His dream of ministering to others became a reality as we all lifted our hearts and minds in prayer. He ministered to every doctor, nurse, technician as love filled his room. He gave grateful thanks to each person whether they took blood, administered tests or emptied the trash.
Eventually his body could no longer cope with his symptoms. Laurence grew weaker and pain increased. He fought for over one hundred days until he said he was finished. I realize now how graciously prayer was answered. There was no way this extraordinary man of courage and strength was going to slip away in the dark of night. Wholeness was revealed for Laurence as he intentionally walked each step of his journey. Once he decided to let go, he consciously said goodbye to his family and friends. His body grew weaker but his voice was clear as he whispered constant words of gratitude and love to God in his last days.
Wholeness was revealed for each of us as we were called to love more graciously, pray more intimately and expand our faith. We were all lifted in an amazing experience of God’s love and a deepening of faith.
Thank you for walking this journey with me. Thank you for your extraordinary prayers and love. I trust your life was changed forever from knowing Laurence as mine was.
This is my last entry for this blog. It seems appropriate on the last day of this year. I will continue to blog at Empowered Thoughts and share my experience of grief at Missing My Beloved.
May God continue to bless you and may every prayer you prayed for us be abundantly returned to you. May God continue to reveal wholeness in every area of your life.
With loving gratitude.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Extraordinary Heroes
My heart overflows with gratitude every time I think of all the loving support Laurence received from the medical community. I wish I could thank every doctor, nurse, CNA, technician, and hospital staff member that made a difference in our lives. They are extraordinary heroes that blessed us.
Just a few of the heroes and angels we met:
Dr. Segal and the staff at the NW Cancer Center
Providence Hospital Cancer Center
Surgeons and staff at Providence Hospital
Dr. Samagh and the staff at Providence Medical Group/Bethany
Hyperbaric technicians at Providence Hospital
Wound care nurses at St. Vincent Hospital
Dr Grajewski and the staff at OHSU bone marrow transplant unit
Dr. Wilson and the staff at Good Samaritan Hospital Rehabilitation Unit
Speech, occupational, recreational and physical therapists at Good Samaritan Hospital
OSHU Intensive Care Unit
OHSU infusion clinic
Odyssey Hospice Care
There are more whose names I can’t remember. I give thanks for the gracious support and amazing professional care we have received over the years. We are so blessed in Portland to have extraordinary professionals in our medical community. May God bless each and every one.
Just a few of the heroes and angels we met:
Dr. Segal and the staff at the NW Cancer Center
Providence Hospital Cancer Center
Surgeons and staff at Providence Hospital
Dr. Samagh and the staff at Providence Medical Group/Bethany
Hyperbaric technicians at Providence Hospital
Wound care nurses at St. Vincent Hospital
Dr Grajewski and the staff at OHSU bone marrow transplant unit
Dr. Wilson and the staff at Good Samaritan Hospital Rehabilitation Unit
Speech, occupational, recreational and physical therapists at Good Samaritan Hospital
OSHU Intensive Care Unit
OHSU infusion clinic
Odyssey Hospice Care
There are more whose names I can’t remember. I give thanks for the gracious support and amazing professional care we have received over the years. We are so blessed in Portland to have extraordinary professionals in our medical community. May God bless each and every one.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Talks from Laurence's memorial service are available to download:
Rev Marcia Sutton click here
Chris McClure click here
Rev Christine Green click here
Rev Marcia Sutton click here
Chris McClure click here
Rev Christine Green click here
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Grateful Thanks
December 22 will be the one year anniversary of Laurence's diagnosis with leukemia. He was admitted to the hospital on Christmas Eve.
I miss him terribly although there are days where I feel Laurence is standing next to me telling me not to worry and showering me with his love. Several times I experienced solutions appear to pressing problems and felt his guidance.
I am so grateful for each of you and how dedicated you've been to reading the blog and sending prayers. I have felt your love and support and it has lifted me on many days when I could barely cope.
My prayer for you is that every prayer you have prayed is abundantly returned to you. My the Christ's Love and Grace bless you and your family.
God Bless You.
Hugs.
I miss him terribly although there are days where I feel Laurence is standing next to me telling me not to worry and showering me with his love. Several times I experienced solutions appear to pressing problems and felt his guidance.
I am so grateful for each of you and how dedicated you've been to reading the blog and sending prayers. I have felt your love and support and it has lifted me on many days when I could barely cope.
My prayer for you is that every prayer you have prayed is abundantly returned to you. My the Christ's Love and Grace bless you and your family.
God Bless You.
Hugs.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving Blessings
As we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow, I want to extend my deep appreciation and grateful thanks for your generous acts of kindness, your partnership and prayers this year. May you and your families have a blessed and loving Thanksgiving holiday.
With loving thanks.
With loving thanks.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Memorial Talk
Rev Marcia gave Laurence a beautiful tribute on Saturday. You are welcome to download her talk. Click here
I am so grateful to everyone who helped make the day possible. Each of you is an amazing blessing to me.
With loving gratitude.
I am so grateful to everyone who helped make the day possible. Each of you is an amazing blessing to me.
With loving gratitude.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Legacy of Love
I am so grateful to everyone that attended the service today. It was bittersweet to feel such deep sadness and then incredible joy to see friends I haven't seen in a while. There was truly a presence of love and grace in the room.
Thanks for your gracious comments about my talk. Here it is:
Legacy of Love
By Rev Christine Green
Laurence made living in love seem effortless and natural. Looking back I realize now his unwavering intention and commitment. There were simple principles that allowed him to live a life of love and grace.
Paid attention. Laurence gave each person his full concentration. Whether it was the waiter bringing his meal or the nurse drawing his labs, he inquired about their jobs, families and their interests. He remembered birthdays and anniversaries and acknowledged important dates. He stayed connected with his Mom, his siblings and his children. He took the time to truly listen. I was so grateful for his willingness to listen to my ideas, concerns and dreams. Unless of course it was a Sunday in the middle of a game during football season or Saturday during college season or March Madness. But other than that, he was an extraordinary listener.
Stepped aside. He opened the door for everyone and always let others go ahead. This simple act was a symbol for his humbleness and generosity. He genuinely wanted others to succeed. He didn’t dwell on disappointment but focused on the next task at hand. Rather than be hurt by an offhand comment, he would step aside from the remark and not take it personally. He was willing to forgive.
Spread joy. Laurence had a great sense of humor, a brilliant smile and a contagious laugh. When times were tense, he spoke up in one of his funny voices or cracked a silly joke. His face lit up with joy when he talked about his children and grandchildren. When I was worried or troubled, he took my hand and we danced.
Gave thanks. Laurence’s most frequent words were thank you. He blessed and gave thanks each day for his family. He thanked me for doing the laundry, for running errands and for taking care of our home. He thanked every person in the hospital whether they emptied the trash, took his blood or diagnosed a test. He always noticed and acknowledged what people were doing right. And he always gave thanks to God.
Walked in faith. Laurence was deeply devoted to God and never once lost his faith. After his stroke he fervently practiced reading and memorizing Psalm 103. He joyfully prayed with each prayer partner that entered his room.
Doing each of these things alone is admirable. Together they morph into the exquisite expression of love. This was Laurence’s legacy of love. But I realized there was one more thing.
Laurence taught me how to receive. Receive his love and generosity as a husband, his compassion and thoughtfulness as my friend, his wisdom as my teacher. He reminded me each day of the importance of receiving God’s love.
When our world unraveled with Laurence’s health challenges this past year I once again learned to receive. I asked for your prayers and you responded earnestly. I needed help at the hospital and a team of loving, supportive friends visited Laurence regularly for five months at the hospital and rehab, to talk with him, pray with him, laugh with him, and assist him with whatever he needed. I am so grateful to receive your homemade meals, airport rides, massages, your loving phone calls, encouraging emails and your constant prayers. Thank you so much for your generosity and for your gracious gifts.
One day at the hospital I read a few of the letters and cards you sent to Laurence and when I finished he commented, “We have stellar friends.” Yes we do. Praise God.
Thank you for being stellar friends. Thank you for being gracious givers and receivers. Laurence was truly a gift from God. We have all been blessed and are changed forever. I love you Laurence. Thank you God.
Thanks for your gracious comments about my talk. Here it is:
Legacy of Love
By Rev Christine Green
Laurence made living in love seem effortless and natural. Looking back I realize now his unwavering intention and commitment. There were simple principles that allowed him to live a life of love and grace.
Paid attention. Laurence gave each person his full concentration. Whether it was the waiter bringing his meal or the nurse drawing his labs, he inquired about their jobs, families and their interests. He remembered birthdays and anniversaries and acknowledged important dates. He stayed connected with his Mom, his siblings and his children. He took the time to truly listen. I was so grateful for his willingness to listen to my ideas, concerns and dreams. Unless of course it was a Sunday in the middle of a game during football season or Saturday during college season or March Madness. But other than that, he was an extraordinary listener.
Stepped aside. He opened the door for everyone and always let others go ahead. This simple act was a symbol for his humbleness and generosity. He genuinely wanted others to succeed. He didn’t dwell on disappointment but focused on the next task at hand. Rather than be hurt by an offhand comment, he would step aside from the remark and not take it personally. He was willing to forgive.
Spread joy. Laurence had a great sense of humor, a brilliant smile and a contagious laugh. When times were tense, he spoke up in one of his funny voices or cracked a silly joke. His face lit up with joy when he talked about his children and grandchildren. When I was worried or troubled, he took my hand and we danced.
Gave thanks. Laurence’s most frequent words were thank you. He blessed and gave thanks each day for his family. He thanked me for doing the laundry, for running errands and for taking care of our home. He thanked every person in the hospital whether they emptied the trash, took his blood or diagnosed a test. He always noticed and acknowledged what people were doing right. And he always gave thanks to God.
Walked in faith. Laurence was deeply devoted to God and never once lost his faith. After his stroke he fervently practiced reading and memorizing Psalm 103. He joyfully prayed with each prayer partner that entered his room.
Doing each of these things alone is admirable. Together they morph into the exquisite expression of love. This was Laurence’s legacy of love. But I realized there was one more thing.
Laurence taught me how to receive. Receive his love and generosity as a husband, his compassion and thoughtfulness as my friend, his wisdom as my teacher. He reminded me each day of the importance of receiving God’s love.
When our world unraveled with Laurence’s health challenges this past year I once again learned to receive. I asked for your prayers and you responded earnestly. I needed help at the hospital and a team of loving, supportive friends visited Laurence regularly for five months at the hospital and rehab, to talk with him, pray with him, laugh with him, and assist him with whatever he needed. I am so grateful to receive your homemade meals, airport rides, massages, your loving phone calls, encouraging emails and your constant prayers. Thank you so much for your generosity and for your gracious gifts.
One day at the hospital I read a few of the letters and cards you sent to Laurence and when I finished he commented, “We have stellar friends.” Yes we do. Praise God.
Thank you for being stellar friends. Thank you for being gracious givers and receivers. Laurence was truly a gift from God. We have all been blessed and are changed forever. I love you Laurence. Thank you God.
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